Independent, strong, petrified 

I did something yesterday that I’ve never done before. Something that made me want to crawl under a table and hide until it was over. Something that continues to scare me every time I think about it.

I bought a new car. A brand new car. By myself. At the dealership. 

Let me list the reasons this makes my heart pound out of my chest:

1. Money. So much money.

2. What if I break it? Crash it? What if it’s stolen? I don’t own it yet. Not even close.

3.  I don’t like to drive. Driving is a huge source of anxiety for me. I was incredibly comfortable in my old car, and changing cars is incredibly uncomfortable for me.

Those are the things that still scare me about buying a new car. Going into the buying process I had to really talk myself into going into the dealership. I had been pre-approved for financing. I transferred the money for my down payment at lunch. I knew what I wanted and about how much it was going to cost. But I was scared. Scared of the obligation. Scared that I might choose the wrong car. Scared that I might get pressured into buying something I really didn’t want. 

None of that happened. I walked into the Subaru dealership in downtown Spokane and was treated very kindly. The salesman was patient. Not pushy. Informative (his name is Ethen.)

And this is the best thing: I did it. By myself. To quote Carrie Fisher “Stay afraid. But do it anyway.”

One thought on “Independent, strong, petrified 

  1. I AM SO JEALOUS AND EXCITED FOR YOU AT THE SAME TIME!! This is my next car, I just can’t justify it yet because my car is still in great condition. Well done buying this all alone, that would scare me too! Happy adventuring!

    Liked by 1 person

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